ZYTARUK: Gee, academics discover smoking pot leads to bad school grades

Yep, that’s right and you heard it here. Could’ve told you that in 1982, though.

So let it be written…

Here’s one for the “Really?” files.

Researchers from the University of Waterloo have produced a study that found — according to a big bold headline at the top of a press release issued by the Ontario university’s media relations department on Thursday, May 11, 2017 heralding this big bold news — that smoking pot can lead to not getting the best grades in school.

“Marijuana use tied to poorer school performance,” it read.

The big bold headline, that is.

Heck, I could have told you that in 1982. And I didn’t need “a bridge grant from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR) Institute of Nutrition, Metabolism and Diabetes (INMD) through the “Obesity — Interventions to Prevent or Treat” priority funding awards (OOP-110788)” or “an operating grant from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR) Institute of Population and Public Health (IPPH)(MPO-114875)” to figure it out, either.

I’ve inquired how much this study cost but have not yet received a reply.

The study’s findings were published in the Journal of School Health and concluded it’s “evident” that it’s important to delay or prevent students from using pot because those who toke the smoke are less inclined to regularly attend classes, do their homework, or get and value good grades in contrast to their “abstaining peers.”

It was based on a sample of 26,475 students in Grades 9 to 12. Those who smoke pot at least once a month are four times more likely to skip classes, two to four times less likely to do their homework and value achieving high grades, and about half as likely to get good grades than they were before getting high, the researchers found. They also found that folks’ brains actively develop until their early 20s and adults who smoked pot regularly in their adolescence “exhibit reduced neural connectivity in regions responsible for memory, learning and inhibitions,” the media release states.

In other words — my words; laymen’s terms — smoke pot, get dumb. Smoke more pot, get more dumb.

Again, I could have told you that.

Hey, what were we talking about?

Oh yeah…

Anyway, I’m sitting at the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting to be enlightened by academics who are deep-diving into more of life’s riddles. Bravely seeking answers to the kind of questions that keep most people up at night, even those who’ve enjoyed a joint before bedtime. Groundbreaking studies on topics like Why People Get Wet When It Rains, and Gravity — Is It Really Necessary? and What Happens When You Don’t Eat, Ever.

Here’s another one. Maybe the researchers over at Waterloo should study how it is Canadians elected a federal government that thought it a good idea to spend $1,900 on 14 life-size cardboard cutouts of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Perhaps Tory MP John Brassard put it best, in an interview with thestar.com

“There’s hard-working Canadians who don’t have $2,000 in their bank accounts and yet foreign affairs is buying cardboard cut-outs of our prime minister,” he said.

Well, what do you expect? This is the government that wants to legalize pot, after all. Maybe things will make more sense once that’s happened…

So let it be done.

tom.zytaruk@surreynowleader.com