It was eight years ago that Darren Morson’s wife committed suicide. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday. But, today the father and his two children are dealing with that loss in a number of positive ways thanks to all the help they received from Langley Hospice.
Morson was one of a handful of people who shared moving news at the fifth annual Langley Hospice garden party Thursday evening.
Board chair Kathy Derksen was among a team on hand to unveil a $100,000 donation that helped kick off the organization’s $1-million fundraising drive.
At last year’s garden party, hospice unveiled plans to build a new, $7-million free-standing, 15-bed hospice on the hospital grounds.
Since then, they’ve managed to secure the necessary funding from sources such as Fraser Health, BC Housing, and provincial government grants to build the structure.
And despite what she acknowledged “as set backs,” the design plans are “just about totally complete” and she’s hoping to get the building permit application to the Township of Langley by mid-October.
In the meantime, site clean up and preparation is expected to happen this fall, with a vision of starting construction next spring.
Now, she said, the work is underway by the society to fundraise the remainder of the money necessary for this project.
And towards that goal, she was “pretty excited” to announce the “big” and “special” contribution from Langley’s own Tech Construction, touched by the 60-year-old company’s “significant” contribution.
“We still need to raise at least another million to finish and outfit the residence and landscape the grounds, so we’re now reaching out to our local businesses and the community to ask for their support to help us with this,” she told the crowd of about a hundred.
“We need your help to make this new house a home.”
While a few fundraisers have already been held, and a pledge campaign was recently launched, Derksen confirmed another “signficant” fundraiser is also in the works for next February.
By the numbers
In addition to Derksen speaking about the new hospice, executive director Nancy Panchuk offered a brief insight into an increase in programs offered and a rise in the number of clients served during the past year.
Looking at it by the numbers, she said thousands of people were helped in the past 12 months, pointing out – in particular – that 568 of those youth.
Continuing her cursory look at the numbers, she noted that 236 volunteers donated more than 33,700 hours to hospice in the last year, including the staff and 80-plus volunteers helping the Second Storey Treasures thrift store raise 34 per cent of the hospice’s annual budget.
“We simply wouldn’t be how we are today without all our volunteers,” Panchuk said.
Tear jerking presentation
Then, it was time for Morson’s emotional first-person account about all hospice has done to help his family through the years.
“It’s been eight years, but it still gets me sometimes,” he said, taking a moment during his presentation to force down a huge lump forming in his throat.
The impact their programs and services have had on his family have been life changing, Morson sputtered.
Morson told the audience members – who were scattered throughout the garden – just how much he and his kids appreciated all that hospice has offered in bereavement counselling, support groups, as well as other services and programs.
His wife died in 2009, when his son Caden was only six and their daughter Brenda was five.
His life was in a “tail spin” when he first reached out for some bereavement support through hospice.
“They provided us much needed compassion and a pillar to lean on,” he recounted, his kids attending a couple counselling session while he participated in an eight-week suicide support group.
His kids were “shaken to the core,” by the loss of their mother, and all they wanted to do was spend time with family – or so he thought.
So, admittedly Morson said he didn’t want to push them to continue with hospice.
“I was a mess and didn’t push them to stay in counselling,” the father confessed, acknowledging his faults – including initial attempts to hide from the children that her death was by suicide.
“I was protecting them from the awful truth,” he told himself, later learning the error of his ways and opting instead to be open and honest with their kids.
“There have been many ups and downs along the way,” Morson said.
A few years ago, he realized how hard a time all three members of the family were having day to day – himself included, and they turned again to hospice for help.
“I couldn’t ignore it,” he said. “We needed help, something we should have received years earlier.”
Being given tools to better express their emotions and work thorugh the various stages of grief, “Langley Hospice was really a life line for us,” the Cloverdale father shared.
“Through the counselling and programs offered by the Langley Hospice, the kids have learned that it’s not just okay to express their emotions, but it’s very healthy. They’re better adjusted and this will serve them well as they go through life,” he added.
“It truly is a comfort to know that the hospice is always there to help.”
• Click here to see more photos from the garden party
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